Free

Kinda scary when you start reading into things you like and analyzing why you like them...

Never look back.

&& because I like shoes... Walter Steiger

YOUR loss.

God always has something for you, a key for every problem, They're still a light for every shadow, a relief for every sorrow & a plan for every tomorrow. Accept all that is given to you with an open mind. Every gift, whether it warmed your spirit or brought you disappointment is a blessing. Learn from yesterday, live for today, plant seeds for tomorrow, live a life worth living. The philosophy of life is to make the most of it, enjoy the happy moments, challenge the challenges thrown at you. Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else wouldn't understand if you fell apart, because of what has gone on in your life that's true strength. See life in a positive way through any kinda of condition Life may throw your way.

Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave...

So I read this and completely loved the meaning of it... or what I thought it meant. Anddddd then I googled it and found that it had a completely different meaning... lol

I hate to see you go but i'll love to watch you leave?

whats the meaning of this if a guy says this to you ?

andddd imagine my surprise when I read...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

"He enjoys your company but he like watching you shake your groove thang as your walking out the door. He thinks you got a nice butt."

LOL!!

I relate to this quote in a completely different manner let me assure you!

For me, it's like that ughhh nerve wracking, irritating, lunatic way you feel when you like someone but know they are so so bad for you. You literally feel torn in two different directions and it feels like your mind and body are in this vicious game of tug-of-war. No, I'm not being dramatic, douchebag. I seriously mean it!! Thus, the topic of this post--- hate to see you go, but it's like you've done me a favor so I'm going to love watching you  l e a v e. 

I'm definitely at that crossroad right now where I have strong feelings for someone who is so not boyfriend material forget husband material (that's for my parent's who probably think I should have been married off that good ol' ripe age of 19!) Sounds kinda ironic though, no? Strong feelings for someone who doesn't even value feelings or know what that means. Only me. Chosen a winner, yet again!

So, more about the guy I'm obsessing over these days?

hmmm.

player.

A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s. 

  OR

A certain class of low-rent, slack-jawed fuckups has decided that backstabbing and misogyny are totally radical, so the word is sometimes used as a compliment or term of endearment between male friends, as in the greeting "what's up, player?".

....

a guy who:
(1) doesn't understand the meaning of relationship
(2) is in full reproductive mode
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts)
(4) often "dates" several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other)
(5) is an asshole!

AND

a heartless human being usually male that takes joy in moving from one girl to the next either sexually or dating and does so in such a manner that they break and rebreak multiple victims hearts, players can be easy to spot or hard to spot easy to spot players usually bost and for unknown reasons are still able to attain victims hidden players are vile disgusting people who will pretend to be sweet, nice, loving, caring, compassionate but dont mean it and when their true form as a player is discovered its usually too late for the victim leaving them in turmoil, heartbreak, an emotional trainwreck

gotta love urban dictionary. they sure don't mince their words!

had to highlight the emotional trainwreck part just in case I didn't see or understand it the first time around. LOL I'm already an emotional trainwreck without the "crushing on a player" aspect in my life!

So, I think I'm writing this blog post since I have two options really:

- - - - see a shrink since I don't want to believe what I KNOW to be true...

- - - - or write this blog entry and READ my thoughts since I cannot seem to comprehend or understand them in my head. I think the word is actually... believe. (see above.)

I know, it's wierd but if I get it- It's worth it.

I don't know who I am fighting against here but I will say my score is a negative two right now.

    

Going on 25 (ohhhh shittt.) this year, so much is changing.

Some aspects of my life I am very thankful for.

Family. Career. My nephew! :)

Mardi Gras in New Orleans possibly next month!

and other things or slots in my life... just feels like something's lacking. incomplete.

I don't know if this is part of life where they say you're truly never happy until you have God in life, or the whole schpeel about how the grass always looks greener on the other side.

And, honestly. I'm up to my brain reading quotes...

it's true, I'm sure. I just don't want to believe it right now.

I don't know. I wish this post had a happy ending. or an ending where I've figured stuff out and all's well is paradise again! haaa. This sounds so fucking emo and I'm sorry for that.

But, I kinda want to leave it how I'm feeling right now...

where nothing makes sense. melancholy. confused. but not unhappy.

until next time.

Fall Swag

Into:
Glitter Nails

Rose Gold


Gold


Copperish


Looks pretty cool, not my type of thing tho...


Pretty!


Short & Gold... how my nails currently look! LOVE!


Glitter Red for Christmas time...

Its kinda funny because I've always kept my nails simple so it was either french or red (but only during christmas/ holiday season...) and I've always kept my nails natural and short even though I get gels. Highly doubt that part will ever change! Recently, I've been completely out of character and been obsessed with Glitter Nail Polish (not all colors tho!!) I'm not a "loud" person and I never looked at glitter as "classy" or "fashion forward" before.  One day, I was reading Jen Stano's blog and absolutely fell in love with how it looked on her and that's where the love affair began!

Jen's nails and mouth watering eye-popping BLING!

Peep The Video- so cool!

So, anyway, with the glitter nail polish I'll only go for rose gold or gold... I tried silver and just didn't love how it looked on my skin tone.

So, here's the funny part... most of my jewelry is white gold and a lot of times when I'm getting dressed I'm literally OCD-- I need things to match but they can't match TOO much- ugh. AND- I hateeee when people mix gold and white gold jewelry together... rarely have I seen it look good together and its just not my thing! Unless... its gold, rose gold, and white gold all paired together- that is simply stunning!

So, here's how crazy I am since I've been rocking a lot of gold nail polish I haven't been wearing any of my jewelry since it's all in white gold. Its funny because everytime I get something made from India I scream and yell bloody murder and do a crazy dance on how it MUST MUST be in white gold since God knows Indians love yellow gold. AND "Indian gold" is not the dull pretty H. Stern yellow gold either. It's the gaudy flashy "rapper just came into money and has absolutely no sense of style" kind! My poor grandma is always explaining to me how they don't have white gold in India and yellow gold has to be polished into white?? The pain in the ass thing about it is that it supposedly fades. I have yet to encounter that scenario but supposedly all the jewelers warn you about the perils of polishing yellow gold.

Indian Gold- shiny and gaudy! (buttt... it's 22K!)

Dull Gold (love how H.Stern does it...)

So, anyway, my aunt was coming from India (she designs and sells jewelry) so I sent her a design (loosely based on the design below) and requested it to be made in yellow gold (shocker...) so I had something to wear with, ready ladiesssss? ---- my gold nail polish! LOL

I love my bracelet from India, it's simple and delicate... (and wasn't too expensive!) but I don't love it for every day wear. So, yesterday I went to the city and ended up picking an item I've been lusting after for years.... like literally y e a r s s s s s s s.

A Yellow Gold Cartier Love Bracelet!

I originally thought I wanted a rose gold one but I've always been told you should invest in pieces that will be 'evergreen' instead of what's currently in fashion. I was looking at a Rose Gold Rolex a few months ago and the sales lady said the same thing... If you have pots and boatloads of money and dropping 30k- 50k on a watch is no sweat of your back (orrr if you're Victoria Beckham OR Tamara Ecclestone) - do as you wish but if you can't afford to buy an investment piece everyday you should purchase something that will always be in fashion and also holds resale value...

So, I ended up purchasing my yellow gold Love Bracelet so I would have something to wear with my $26 manicure... that's already chipped btw! :( LOL

I also eventually want to get a gold Rolex (if I can afford it... in a few years) so that's also why I decided to get the gold Love.

Never say never... me mixing white gold & gold... lol... didn't want to take my tennis bracelet off and shove it in my bag at Cartier.

It's actually pretty cool how they put the love bracelet on you... never knew that it came in two pieces and had to be screwed together as it was put on me. The bracelet is also unusual because like your wrist it's oval, not round; the purpose of that is so that it doesn't get banged around too much.

I ended up getting to the city a little before 5 so it was pretty cool since I was one of the last customers Cartier let in before they closed for the weekend. They take you in a little private 10 X 10 room and fit you for the bracelet... that's because the bracelet screws on and is pretty much suppose to stay on you since its not easy to take on or off... and they give you a little screwdriver so you can unscrew/ tighten as you wish. It's really not one of those bracelets you can obviously slip on or off by yourself...

The other thing that was pretty cool is they shut the blinds when they were closing (while I was paying) and said "it was for my safety" so people/ robbers/ theif's cannot look in while the remaining people are shopping/paying and see what they are purchasing. After I was done, they also let me out from the side entrance and not the front so I was protected since if they had let me out from the front, they explained, someone standing outside would have known I'd purchased something since it was after hours and I was still in the store. They don't do this during hours since every person that comes into the store obviously doesn't buy something so if someone's looking to rob or make off with loot they really have a hit or miss on their hands since you never know!

Real quick--- other things I'm feeling for fall...

Embellished/ Detailed Flats

Saks has a few on sale that are currently on sale... all 3 are under $250!

Vera Wang



I got the ones below in blue... (suede/velvet so appropriate for fall!!)

B Brian Atwood- Brian Atwood's cost friendly/ "affordable" line... look so much like YSL's!


Also, LOVE MIU MIU and Prada's fall collection (although they are deff not wallet friendly butttt oh so cute!!)







How they look on... such a rich & different look!



LASTLY-
glowing, beautiful clear SKIN!

Once summer's over, I feel like girls in their 20s have no excuses for gross skin! Unless it's that time of the month.**

Guerlain's Skincare Line- newest obsession! I first heard of them when I use to read 17 Magazine (when I was like 12 lol) and they had Jennifer Lopez's makeup artist stating how JLo only wears Guerlain makeup... I didn't think much of it until I went to Vegas a few years later and went into the makeup store. I ended up picking up their foundation and bronzer and loved how they felt and looked on my skin! Anyway... that's a different story for a different day.
 
The Guerlain Orchidée Impériale Line
Eye Cream
Face Cream
Longevity Concentrate

LOVING ALL 3... The discovery set is $195... each item by iteself in the normal size runs around $400-425 and Saks has a package right now where all 3 are available in the normal size for $1,000 (GULP!)... but they really work! I've noticed a change big time in my skin since I've started using this product... (which I randomly purchased from Guerlain in Disney World! LOL) less breakouts and cleaner, healthier skin- the eye cream is phenomenal IMO as well!!! You're never too young to take care of your skin!